#1 Measure self-worth in terms of achievements.
When you are focused on outcomes and end results, and you measure your sense of worth and value in terms of your achievements and performance, you can easily see yourself as a failure when you don't succeed. Worse yet, you become the failure. That leaves you swinging between feeling really worthy when you achieve, and really unworthy when you don't.
Recently a client said to me that he wanted to do something "great" with his life. He's a young man at the beginning of his career, and he has aspirations to succeed. There's nothing wrong with that. It's a normal desire, but as we continued talking about it, I knew that more was going on. There was a strong sense of urgency, and even a little tinge of desperation.
As we investigated, it turned out that he feels quite insignificant, and the urgent desire to do something great was a desire to feel significant, and in turn feel worthy and loved. It wasn't really about accomplishment at all. It was about feeling worthwhile.
Sometimes everyone needs a reset. Life gets too crowded, energy pours out in every direction like a bad plumbing leak, problems abound, demands are high, and you are just worn out. This can leave you feeling depleted, overwhelmed, used up, fragmented, out of control, and discontent. These are signs that you have become disconnected from yourself. It's time for a reset.